This is a very common question, one which I think is important to address considering this is where parents may face challenges. I would like to remind you that although my clinical work is based on evidence-based practice; some of my posts are based on my training within the field and on anecdotal experiences. Please take what you feel is relevant to you and your situation.
So how do you discipline a child with autism? Well, essentially you discipline them in the same way you would a neurotypical child. Let us not forget that children are children. Sometimes parents tend to make exceptions and rules for their child with autism where exceptions and rules need not be. A child with autism will push your buttons in the same way as his neurotypical sibling, and maybe even more. A child with autism will also push the boundaries of bedtime, push the boundaries of dinner time, be silly when he shouldn’t, speak out of context and so forth just as a neurotypical child would. Your reaction to such behaviours should not differ significantly from your approach with a typical child. Especially when the child has a sibling and the sibling may be observing to see how you handle a situation.
Set Clear Boundaries and Clear Rules
Yes, children with autism have delays in social interactions and communication, but still they are children and need boundaries to be set and need you as their parent to follow-through and to guide them. I would suggest setting clear boundaries and rules, regularly reminding them of these rules and if needed make a visual for the child and for you to refer to. You can do so by simply pointing to the appropriate picture whenever the child needs a reminder.
Ten Helpful Tips
Knowing the above, it is important that when you are correcting and shaping behaviour, you consider the following: (1) Establish eye-contact with your child so you know she is paying attention to what you are saying. (2) Make sure communication is clear and concise. (3) Have the child repeat rules using “if___/then___” statements. This will help with attending and making sure the child really understands the consequences of her actions. Children with autism do well with simple instructions, simple language and simple rules. (4) If a rule is broken, go back to the original rule and re-state why you are implementing the consequence that you are, e.g. “because you hit your sister, you will loose ___”. (5) Do not give instructions unless you are willing to follow through. You want the child to know that if you give an instruction, you expect her to comply. (6) If your child fails to comply with an instruction, make sure to help (not make) him complete the instruction. Remember, you can rely on the basic principles of behaviour. Use principles such as reinforcement to your advantage. (7) Make sure to provide praise and encouragement for behaviour you desire and no reinforcement for behaviour you do not want to see. (8) If you are using punishment, make sure it is immediate and descriptive. (9) If you are correcting the behaviour of an older child, it can be beneficial to debrief about the unwanted behaviour, while explaining the alternative options that he could have selected. Last, when disciplining a child with autism, it is important to (10) be consistent and persistent.
