Welcome back to Parent’s Cove. This post is directed to parents who have just received an autism diagnosis. I would like to offer some advice. Over the years I have come across a few do’s and don’ts that I would like to share with you. This is a combination of my own opinions as well as a compilation of recommendations from other sources.
Ok, so you just received an autism diagnosis, naturally after receiving a diagnosis or label of any kind (unless it is that your child is gifted) you may suddenly feel deflated. You will for sure feel overwhelmed with all the information, and in some ways you may feel a sense of relief. Now that there is a label to what you have been experiencing, you will have a better idea of where to seek help, whom to go to, what to research and so forth. Let’s agree that you will have a myriad of feelings that you are just not sure what to do with. Consider these:
1. Try to remember the baby you carried for 9 months and fell in love with x number of years ago. Remember to see your child as your child and not as the diagnosis first and then your child.
2. Considering all the information you were likely provided with, try to remember to do your due diligence and filter through the information, do additional research to learn about your child’s exceptionality and to review the options for the road ahead. Give yourself time to accept the diagnosis, but do not sit-back and do nothing as this will do more harm than good.
3. Take advantage of all the support and resources out there. Remember that we are in an information era so take the time to visit blogs, forums, support groups, social skills groups, and the like. And, of course accept the support from friends and family as well. Try not to let the diagnosis be something that creates a chasm in your relationships, but rather something that brings you closer to the ones you love.
4. Try to remember to spend time for you. Try to do the things you used to do. Spend time to decompress and take a breather every now and then. As parents we are forever worrying about our children, and a diagnosis of any kind makes it even worse. Try to remember that you want to give your child the best you, not the you that is over-stressed, over worried, overwhelmed, and overtired. If you must, force yourself out of the house, force yourself to go to bed early, or join a leisure class, do so for your sake and the sake of your child.
5. Try not to isolate yourself. There is often a stigma associated with certain diagnoses, try not to let this be a reason you isolate yourself or your child. Remember, it takes a village to raise a child, and going out with your child will bring awareness and acceptance for those in our society that may not know about certain diagnoses. Try to get your child involved in community programs so that he feels a sense of belonging and acceptance outside of the home as well.
6. Try to remember that you are the true expert on your child. You are your child’s advocate. You know your child’s likes, dislikes, wants and needs. Despite the experts on your child’s diagnosis, you are the expert on your child as a person; try to remember that this is essential in navigating your diagnosis.
–Deborah Vincent
